if i were to come into the office of a psychiatrist and try to explain to them my mind im sure they would find me insane. but if i was to explain to the members of a party in southwest USA in 1969 my brain they would say "you need to trip more often because you are just too much fun!"
my state of being is a little preoccuppied with who i am to consider who others are, trying to figure out why i cant think, but if asked a question the answer shows itself on the tip of my tongue. why do i think i am stronger than i am, why cant i cry, i mean, i know why i dont have emotions, why did i never help myself, i did see it coming.
always i say to my friends, i would help you if you needed it, but they never do. they never get themselves into positions where they need my help. does that mean im a fuck up cos i always need help or does it mean im trying to do things, take risks, make rash decisions to see where it takes me. should i play the trouble free card like my friends. i appreciate the fact i have good friends who help me.
little games i play in my head, scenarios that my life could take. i think of them after i get myself in these positions trying to make sense of my previous decision to do what im doin. and i can come up with two or three answers that fit the bill. but i always choose the one that is james bondish, sauved up to the hilt. like i know what im doing. who the fuck am i kidding
not a fuckin clue mate. none whatsoever. not even a little bit. its like a daydream in my eyelids. i see it when i close my eyes so therefore it must be true and it must be followed. what a donut
