I remember that white dress. Engraved in my skull its shadowy ghost haunts my dreams. She looked so beautiful that night. Her eyes twinkled like stars in the night sky and her happiness invaded the entire room. Her mom was proud but her dad was prouder. She found a good man in me but the truth was far too complicated. I'm a much better person before you know me.
I knew I loved her when I saw her cry. She rear-ended my Lexus coming home from work, and as I watched those beautiful tears fall on her porcelain skin I thought, this is the woman I will marry. We dated for 3 years before I got down on one knee. I took her to the fountain in the middle of town and she made me the happiest man alive.
They ask me why I did it, but I know they will never understand. Her mom cried when she heard the news. “Doctor Murders Newlywed Wife on Honeymoon”
They said I would love Jamaica, but the coffee was too bitter and the linens smelled strongly of cheap vanilla. Not to mention the heat. I read somewhere that heat impairs your ability to make good decisions. Or maybe that was alcohol. Whatever the case, the court still found me guilty. I will spend the remainder of my life in a cage.
She always thought I was a good man. I came from a good family, went to a good school, and had a good job saving lives at the hospital. I was her hero, but I could only do so much. I knew she loved me. I loved her too, and that's why I did it. The best part of a marriage is the part where you still love each other – before the fights, before the pain, before you doubt. On the second night of our trip, I put arsenic in her evening tea, and cried myself to sleep.
I am only a man. I couldn't be her perfect partner, and I knew somewhere along the line I would cause her pain and disappointment. I didn't want to hurt her. I did it for her; I am only just a man.
