after our fall

I was not sorry that you left

but always wondered where you went

when we would meet again


who we would be 

and whether or not the pains

we got so used to, together

would still be there



but after many years

and hardships 

and falls all my own



mistakes carved out of my singular stubbornness 

refusals to obey even the longings of my heart



I arrive in a state of grace

leisure I will not waste

and all the doors I want

and some I like but do not need




dancing stupid in the savage side show



you appear to the harlequin, coin in hand

smiling like an innocent 

gone from horror and terror and want

asking for a payed audience

a jest, a dance, a trick, a laugh



like we never met

or loved, or fucked, or cried

or held hands



the clown plays to the ways only you best knew him

promenades, swings and sways

falls, stops, recovers 

and hands over a posy 



she in her laughter

accepts with grace and thanks


smells the bouquet like a tease, she knows no one is bated at

with eyes like confidence 

unconcerned, happy

and wanders for more of the show


if I never see you again I will not care