I feel myself sigh a very heavy sigh

A sigh so heavy I may just collapse under it

and faint

My tainted heart is pounding my stomach churning--turning?

I'm uneasy--quite queasy

Melancholic cold-blooded and alone

The phone that never rings

The post that never comes

How I detest this life of mine

I no longer want to rhyme

For I feel like I am going to cry

My insides are in turmoil

My outsides are about the same

Am I just another grain of sand that cannot be saved

from the pitiful wave?

Oh Edgar, I feel quite the same

If only I weren't a coward

afraid to take my own life away

Oh the shame!

I would've ended this a long time ago

I would've saved myself from

Feeling forever alone

The misery of my existence

The dull lull I live in

Where nothing ever changes

And everything stays the same

I should've done myself a favor

and sentenced myself

To be sedated

In an eternal slumber

I could've escaped all this

But I was too stubborn to see

My Life--Life for me

was never an exciting life to lead

There is no mystery

There was never any mystique

There is only misery

You either know or ignore

How pathetic!

As a human being

I am trying my best to ignore

But instead of ignoring I sigh

A sigh so heavy

I can almost--almost just

die