This thing, they call it a disease
 
after 20 years it damn near killed me
 
 
 
It’s been over 2 years
 
but knowing I’ll never drink again
 
still brings me to tears
 
 
 
I watch people around me partying
 
and having fun
 
wishing it were me and I was the one
 
 
 
It seems like I can’t have fun anymore
 
I usually just go in my room daily and
 
close the door
 
 
 
It’s been a long 2 years
 
still craving the only thing that made
 
me feel invincible without fear
 
 
 
I didn’t stop drinking for myself but for my family
 
Sometimes I wish I was alone and drinking
 
sitting in a dark room where no one can find me
 
 
 
I’m not sure why I still crave it
 
but I pray to God daily to wash his essence over
 
me and bless me with his grace and spirit