I’m calling out, I’m crying out
But no one is giving me solace
No one is giving me redemption
No one is giving me a second look
I don’t understand why
I don’t care why
All I want to do is cry
All I want is to ask why
I am in pain
I am calling, it is in vein
I am begging for help
But it all just remains the same
Why will no one help me?
I want consolation
I want acceptance
I want acknowledgement of my existence
It is just not happening
I try to touch them but they fade away
I try to call them but they look the other way
I try to force them to see, but they simply stare and turn the other way
Why oh why is it this way
Was I ever so bad to them that they would react this way?
Why are the “killing” me?
Then it dawns on me, it all becomes as clear as day
I don’t feel the heat of the day
I don’t feel the cold of the night
I don’t feel the embrace of the cool breeze
It is I that have passed away, never more to be the same
It then dawns on me ever so clearer
That is why they cannot come nearer
They are holding all my memories nearer
And this is why they are ever dearer
My coming closer and seeking Affection, consoling and care
Is making them ever more aware
Of their loss (I am gone), of their gain, the gain that no one wants…
Everlasting hurt and pain
I now know that I must abstain
From seeking them so that they can deal with the pain
But, as soon as I refrain, closer they heed me again
For now the pain is like steel in the vein
This game of tug of war we must not play
For never can I rest, never can you release the pain
Let me be, let me play
In the mercies of the almighty
I am guilty of this too
My little sister I am missing you
You were the dearest
In every way the purest
But I see you through the goggles of days past
I see you with idyllic view
You were my little sisters and yes I loved you
But this is me letting you go
So that in your brokenness you now too can be whole.
