Sometimes i wonder who am i..
am i the same person i used to call me..
Cause sometimes i feel confused
i feel like am another me
he's trying to take over but i want to set me free!
I'm tired of all this..
Tired of explaining who i want to be..
Tired of the expectations they have for me..
tired of the disappointments that happen so constantly..
But i want to make it for once i don't want to let go of me!
They say that the 100 miles trip begin with a single step..
but that first step is the scariest..
when you are trying to fill those giant shoes of those who you are trying to be
& its even harder when you have people expecting u to reach that mountain top on those shoes..
telling you we know you can do it..we believe in you...
they sound pretty awful optimistic don't you agree?
that's when you start doubting yourself..
you start attacking yourself viciously..
you stop believing in yourself & you start losing your self-authority..
you start asking yourself “what if I can't do it?” & “what if I fail?”
those are the knifes that cut the road to the place you want to be..
you find yourself all alone..
full of disappointment, fear & shame for something you couldn't do..
for someone you couldn't be..
you find yourself torn between your dreams & their fantasies..
you don't know if you failed them, yourself or whoever you were trying to be..
you start despising this life.. hating your reality..
realizing the ugly truth..that your dream wasn't really your dream..
it was theirs all along...they just forced it into you literally
The blood, sweat & tears..they were all for nothing..
you just felt pain...you just lived in agony..
all what is left is your broken pieces...
leaving you staring at your broke self so dramatically..
a monster called despair has been unleashed upon u..
caught you in your most weakest moment..
you can't do anything but embrace it disgustingly..
it makes you think..was it worth it to take a chance?
Or was it better to just lay down on your bed..
empty hearted & soul-free..
