I hope somebody steals your cat

And runs off with your dog

Hope your parakeet flies away

Happy Valentine’s Day


Hope some guy lifts your credit card

And runs up your debt

Hope he leaves you nothing but a dime

Happy Valentines


Hope you fall and break your nose

And throw your shoulder out of joint

Hope you twist your back and wrench your spine

Happy Valentines


Hope you break a fingernail

And your new masquera runs

Hope your lipstick crumbles and flakes away

Happy Valentines Day


I hope some guy shreds up your heart

And grinds it into bits

Hope he shows you a real good time

Happy Valentines


I hope sometimes you think of me

I hope it makes you shudder

You should know, I’m doing fine

Happy Valentines


A plague upon your house