I hope somebody steals your cat
And runs off with your dog
Hope your parakeet flies away
Happy Valentine’s Day
Hope some guy lifts your credit card
And runs up your debt
Hope he leaves you nothing but a dime
Happy Valentines
Hope you fall and break your nose
And throw your shoulder out of joint
Hope you twist your back and wrench your spine
Happy Valentines
Hope you break a fingernail
And your new masquera runs
Hope your lipstick crumbles and flakes away
Happy Valentines Day
I hope some guy shreds up your heart
And grinds it into bits
Hope he shows you a real good time
Happy Valentines
I hope sometimes you think of me
I hope it makes you shudder
You should know, I’m doing fine
Happy Valentines
A plague upon your house