Only the greatest displeasure (9th July 2010)

More and more life brings me
only the greatest displeasure.
Failure to make anything of myself and
many a romance of mine is doomed.

Such an affliction
it is to live out each day with little fulfillment.
May it be the devil has imprecated
me personally.

Or is it just a test of my strength,
I will surely fail again.

Hours ticking away,
nothing I can do to save myself
this most hellish of pains.
Time passes,
I become nothing more only less.

Broken hearted in shame for
my pitiful existence.
With just the bottle to free me
of all the suffocating sorrows
that I endure.

Yet,
I fear it makes me more of a
coward then I have been in years.
Truths,
crude and ugly
shattering the little hope I have left.