I try and try
but I can’t let go
I hold my breathe
But I don’t know.
I hope for air to seep deep through my skin
and into my lungs
but it’s a smooth pain
that makes me collapse
into a relapse
of special quotes
and inside jokes,
of wonderful places
and remarkable memories
where it was just
you
and
me.
It’s like swimming in a pit of fire,
pushing harder and burning faster,
feeling desperate and all fucked up
but I keep on pushing hoping for it to stop,
but
it
won’t
ever
stop.
I’m crawling on nails and broken glass,
watching my blood spill from my knees and hands
onto a blank canvas addicted to red
where I drip thoughts of you,
thoughts
of us.
I’m fading, asphyxiating.
I’m traveling through time,
trying to grasp every single word you said,
putting it in a box where I know it will be safe,
in
my
mind,
in
my
heart.
I can’t let you go.
I have you tattooed,
deeply engraved
in the places and faces
of people and things
where we left footprints,
on sand? No. On stones,
the ones I throw at the house
where we first found love,
but I bless the spell
you
have
me
on.
I’m intoxicated and overdosed.
I’m a crack addict
going through withdrawal,
I shake and quiver
and curse the world
because I just don’t give a fuck
for all I ever wanted was a bit of luck,
to be with the one I want,
the
one
I
love..
To share and to hold
through everything life has
even when we grow old.
For richer or for poor
is where you had me sold
thinking I’d have you
in sickness or in health
but now I’m sinking
in
this
hell.
But I still want another hit of you
because baby you keep me going,
always rolling,
you keep me stable
because without you I wouldn’t be
able
to
feel.
But in the end
I don’t feel a thing
Because I’m holding my breathe,
hoping air WILL seep through my skin
and into my lungs,
but you’re all the air I need,
even though all I do is bleed
and secrete images of my life
without peace,
without hope,
without joy,
without light,
lacking you.
