Well baby boi here I find myself
Less than 72 hours after my slow awakening began
An awakening catalyzed by an unlikely face
A handsome stranger
Coaxing me from my cryogenic incubator
My failing dream machine
…It’s amazing how people you may never meet in you life can affect you, isn’t it?
In the initial break-up, my world momentarily departed
I was suspended in the nanosecond, somewhat astralized within my own body
My pleading voice clear to my ears, but I felt my words barely reach you, and dispel deflected
Yet I fully felt my stomach wrenched out and infected
By rabid butterflies
The type that don’t settle or die
Just linger for hours while you try
To hold it together
To wear your dignified face for the world
While they gnash at you inside
Upon each of your returns, stronger resolve rode your lips
Along with bittersweet memories pacified by your tender kiss
I should have known, with all your quips
That resolve was never anchored to your pith
Your heart felt it once, I know
I’m sure you had even you convinced
But see, rooted to the soul you claimed belonged to me
You harbored fear of misery
Over commitment to what should be
Over our strength to shape our own destiny
And despite what you may think
Despite all those kinks
That never got ironed out or fixed
I was the ride or die chick
Even up to a year after the fact
Because though I said my pieces, I still held my word
Stayed by your side even when you pushed me away
I was there even when I didn’t know what to do
When you either couldn’t or didn’t tell me the truth
Yet wondered why we had so much trouble getting through
And even during and after us splitting I remained yours
Just like I said I would
… Why didn’t you believe me?
I’m thinkin, how long are promises valid after the other person rejects them…?
Are they void once your lover makes the final exit?
Cuz this new guy is flexin
I’m feelin him on a level I thought you had on lock
Like someone loaded a glock
And popped a cap in my chest made of Icy-Hot
He hit the spot from a thousand miles away
Thought only you could sway me like that
But he did it, with his caramel complexion and mahogany eyes
That feathery hair I’d melt running my fingers through
That smile like a bright flash, but soothing
A laugh born deep on the inside, eruptive and contagious
And adorable, masking the sultry interior, (reserved for someone like me..? *smirk*)
Lips I would most thoroughly savor
Maybe I can get down with a different flavor
Especially when it comes packaged in such a rock-solid body
Mm hm
I got just one word fo’ ya - yummy
Yes, you were my dark chocolate addiction
But through him, to me, fresh hope has been given
Now I know I can snap this
elastic
chain
to
you…
*break*
…and get on with livin
…To try another, only this question plagues me:
Does God nullify a marriage made by one person in their own mind? Even if she did swear it before Him?
If it never justified the perks, how can it justify the pain
of permanent strain under an illegitimate bond?
But the promise wasn’t made in vain
Delivered in earnest, and earnestly waited on
But life must move on…
So interestingly enough
Seeing his face I have realized
I no longer need to hide
What I feel from you
I thought silence was my ally
Reclusion my shield
If your eyes ever bothered again to wander to me
You would have to work harder than a mere glance
To know you still had me in a trance
Maybe then, you would advance
But I’m tired of laying low, and now I know
Hope of love isn’t lost by fully letting you go
So in throwing down my cards, I may be throwing the game
But if it’s the only way to win you over
It’s no longer worth playing
I am a phoenix, rising above her pain
Shining with undying flame
And I love you, regardless if you feel the same
If one of us died tomorrow I’d want you to know
And now I can tell you
And finally, truly, move on.
…Here comes the healing rain
-07-07-A.D. 2010
