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  • Category: Published & Contest Winning Poems
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When the Door Slid Shut

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"Winner of the Open Community Poetry Contest for the period Jan-March 31, 2017."

when the door slid shut behind you
I cradled your treaty in my palm
I put it to my ear
 
I could hear the ocean.
 
a vast crash of salinated blue
a whispering pelt of damp wind
that empty empty sound
of useless collision.
 
that soft noise was really nothing more
than the shove of blood beneath my pulse
your promise then as hollow as every other bargain
negotiated in avoidance of each other's skin.
 
blooded on broken glass and
the detritus of your need
 
I am left now with the vacant stare of
still rooms and hushed entrances
and photographs furnished with ghosts.
 
a beer can cloud of gnats
 
rises like smoke to surround your absence
 
and i am anchored to the silence with all of that
rough and empty noise.

Comments (12)

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Great use of imagery! You seemed to breathe some new life into often overused metaphors which is not an easy task. And you did it. Bravo!

Joshua Hennen
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Thank you, Joshua. Thank you so much. Though the "often overused metaphors" reference is certainly cause for concern.

BKShaw
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"Rises like smoke to surround your absence"...love it...beautiful....

Gush28
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Thank you Gurshwin. Sometimes an image plays out in your head -- you wake up with it behind your eyes...it takes awhile to find the phrase that finally lends definition to the ghost, you know? still never finished...

BKShaw
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Great poem! Tantalizing imagery!

Cotterbd123
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This is a nice piece.

Alvin De-Poetry Principal
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Great love this

poetic _preacher
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a beer can cloud of gnats... very evocative imagery of the person you are describing.

Tess
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"when the door slid shut behind you" Is a great way to hook the reader in, it sure did for me.

Arynnel1
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Had me all hot bothered from the word go

Andriod
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Very good write and very creative. I felt that I was there.

steffenmary574@yahoo.com
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Very unique sense of creativity and knowledge. You could make if big someday. Fantastic work.

Supernatural961
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