Weaker By Degrees

Details
Category: Published & Contest Winning Poems
Hits: 31645

User Rating: 5 / 5

Star ActiveStar ActiveStar ActiveStar ActiveStar Active
 
"Runner-Up of the Open Community Poetry Contest for the period Jan 31-March 31, 2017."


the ghosts regretfully floated all about 
as tiny wisps of cigarette smoke choke
 
a soundtrack of yesteryear tried its best
to rhythmically drown out today's tears
 
alas, no one and nothing could conjure up joy 
within his sorrow-laden room, saddening still...
 
every ounce of willpower seeped into the thirsty 
flood-boards as his eyes grew weaker by degrees
 
but, he kept a chain of pain linking himself to them,
lest they sail as boats unto an unseen eternity, plea
 
james kenneth blaylock
3-26-17

Comments (6)

Brandon_Hennen
  2. #3813
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Short and bittersweet, that is the feeling you get when it's over. I like some of the Middle English phrasing as well, though it may seem quaint and take away from the sting that this poem ultimately achieves. Well done!

Comment was last edited about 5 years ago by Brandon_Hennen Brandon_Hennen
  1. Reply
  2. 1
melissam252
  2. #3886
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Beautifully written, thank you for sharing

melissam252
  1. Reply
  2. 1
Melusi
  2. #3890
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Hi I Melusi,this shows why it deserves to be a runner up,I love it beyond words could express

Melusi
  1. Reply
  2. 1
MsCindyClark
  2. #3936
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

I felt every word thank-you may your gift prosper with great success be encouraged

MsCindyClark
  1. Reply
  2. 1
James blaylock
  2. #3945
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Thank you so very much everyone. It is an honor to be runner up

James blaylock
  1. Reply
  2. 0
GlennCurrier
  2. #3955
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Your poems seem to float into the English language like clouds across a mountainous terrain, gathering snow, dust, residues of sunsets, landslides, and crevices. You leave the reader with just enough mystery to make them curious or uncomfortable...

Your poems seem to float into the English language like clouds across a mountainous terrain, gathering snow, dust, residues of sunsets, landslides, and crevices. You leave the reader with just enough mystery to make them curious or uncomfortable and just enough beauty to lift them from their routines and ruts. I am pleased that this poem, full of depth, emotion, and humanity, won a place in the contest. You deserve recognition and affirmation. Thank you for this gift.

Read More
GlennCurrier
  1. Reply
  2. 0
There are no comments posted here yet

Leave your comments

  1. Posting comment as a guest.
Background
Attachments (0 / 3)
Share Your Location