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In a Hum~

User Rating: 5 / 5

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"Winner of the Open Community Poetry Contest for the period Oct 31-Dec. 31, 2013. See commentary below."--ed.

Tweedle Dee Dee and Tweedle Dee Dum
One could sing, the other hum
One was smart and one was dumb
One was free and one was numb

One would go, the other come
One could subtract, the other sum
One had pals, the other chums
One liked cake, the other crumbs

Fear made livin quite a chore
Everythin was such a bore
One wanted less, one wanted more
Both forgettin what livin’s for

One was red and one was blue
One would laugh, one boo hoo
One would wish, the other do
One would seek, the other knew

Spendin rich while cryin poor
Which one ultimately plays the whore?
Rat a tat and keepin score
Wantin much and startin war

The whole gist of this epic battle?
Ownership of the Golden Rattle!
Rulin over Sheep and silly cattle
Oh how the inane do prattle

Alice, Alice seemed most contrary
Wanderin the galactic prairie
Most naive and most unwary
Time travel can at best be scary

Chaos makes the travelin hairy
She knew Glengarry was no dairy
The River Styx no heaven’s ferry
Never the less Alice’s pen could parry

Roamin the Land of Confused Pixies
Messages all askew and nixie
Writin truth is ever risky
When culture’s on the edge recce

Double, Double Toil and trouble
All the fun with twice the muddle
All the Queen’s brews do bubble
Only simpletons boil in puddles

Little minds dwell in their hovels
So much shit and so few shovels
~

All humanity’s pollutions?
Rationalizing hateful convolutions
Love fuels nonviolent revolutions
Offers viable unified solutions

Motion modifies trajectory’s evolutions~

 

"In a Hum is an excellent example of a playfully written poem that beneath its surface hides darker undercurrents. Sardonically whimsical like an adult nursery rhyme, there's a distinct musical nature to this that is difficult to pull off in terms of rhyme and meter, but is done here very well. Make no mistake, however, this is not your Mother Goose's Humpty Dumpty. With themes that conjur the river of Hades, to the pettiness of the masses of society, this riddle of a poem will keep you on your mental toes."-Ed.

 

 

Comments (17)

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I am a huge fan of Kelley White. Her vocabulary is lyrical. Her poetry builds in momentum. Her comparisons intrigue the mind. And her last stanza's always wrap up the whole rhyme! I am happy to Vote for Kelley White

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Krysta, Hi! Thank you so very much. I appreciate your support very much.

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Good Morning. I would like to thank everyone that has taken the time to read, recommend, and rate. I appreciate it greatly. Have a Happy Holiday Season~ Kelley

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Thank you for your contribution! It is definitely the most rated that we've had. I can't wait to see more of your work. Please consider entering this poem to our Open Community Poetry Contest if you haven't done so already. Welcome to Hennen's...

Thank you for your contribution! It is definitely the most rated that we've had. I can't wait to see more of your work. Please consider entering this poem to our Open Community Poetry Contest if you haven't done so already. Welcome to Hennen's Observer!

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Thank you. I did enter this piece, perhaps I will enter another one. Thank you so much for having me Hennen's Observer.

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Kelley your work is always delightful. You are a wonderful artist.

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Halcyon, thank you so much. I am so glad you enjoy reading.

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Exceptional poem! Sardonically whimsical like an adult nursery rhyme. There's a distinct musical nature to this that is difficult to pull off in terms of rhyme and meter, but you do it very well here. I do think, however, that the couplet near...

Exceptional poem! Sardonically whimsical like an adult nursery rhyme. There's a distinct musical nature to this that is difficult to pull off in terms of rhyme and meter, but you do it very well here. I do think, however, that the couplet near the end, "Little minds dwell in their hovels/ So much shit and so few shovels," is the perfect end to this delightfully dark little piece. The last stanza and line seem almost an afterthought, particularly when the aforementioned couplet would leave the reader lingering on such a powerful ending. As they say, end on a high note! Very good indeed.

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Comment was last edited about 4 years ago by Brandon_Hennen Brandon_Hennen
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Thank you. Hahahaha I agree with you about the last stanza.... I think Krysta is correct when she says I try to not leave things on , well a shitty note. LOL So yes it is rather redundant. Good call. Thank you so much for the valuable...

Thank you. Hahahaha I agree with you about the last stanza.... I think Krysta is correct when she says I try to not leave things on , well a shitty note. LOL So yes it is rather redundant. Good call. Thank you so much for the valuable feedback.

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This is incredible.

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Thank you so much Great Escape. I am glad you enjoyed it.

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Great expression from a brilliant mind,no doubt! I have read this several times and pondered over each line. There's so much to understand, yet being playful and melodic sugar coats the darker concepts that unfold. Thanks for inviting me to...

Great expression from a brilliant mind,no doubt! I have read this several times and pondered over each line. There's so much to understand, yet being playful and melodic sugar coats the darker concepts that unfold. Thanks for inviting me to your mental playground, it was fun.

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Wow, a great piece indeed, heko to you Kelley White

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