In twilight shine, behind the moon clouds and the mountain high, the sun sends a scent of fresh rose to peek over the hill “all is clear” awake. This morning the mountain made love to the sky, as the world spins with blue soaking heavens high, and while I stop to wipe my tears, the birds they laugh at my useless fears. But for now let the crisp envelope me.
I know it’s just another day before beginning work. I know it’s just a morning walk. I know one day it will all end and I know the world will continue to spin, and I will miss her along with my wife’s good morning coffee kiss. There’s something fragile just before the dawn as light cracks. A smooth and silky cool air seems to tremble across the skin standing each hair upon its ends. And the birds, it’s just them and me, the cactus fur the desert flowers raging in cold air like waves on an operatic sea. I plug in a Zeppelin song as the dawn and my heart crack together all the way down to my soul. I am part of this glorious earth, part of this glorious light, part of the heart of the human experience, and as I walk I see the sunrise lift up the world’s woes, I stop I stand and I stare. Burn down my soul, burn down my eyes I tell the sun, I don’t care, I’m in love with you. I’m in love with your morning mistress the moon and her sisters the stars. This is where I believe heaven began, and for me this is where heaven will end, so sue me. All night the sun goes out partying with stars, probably pressing his heat against some cold lonely distant dark piece of soil. Probably showing off his warm personality cheating on this earth. But just before morning he always returns to her. She special and he does not want her to die in the cold like some of the neighbors did. Just before he returns I plead with her to let me be the one to first give her my love, and I remind her that I am always here before he shows up each morning to spoil her gentle freshness. But she needs him and so I walk on, not angry, not disappointed in her, but with the knowledge that he will take care of her long after I’m gone. After all isn’t this what love is supposed to be about? Teaching us not to be so selfish. To do what’s best for the one we love? To forgo our own obsessive ambitions of need. I’ve seen the earth cry and it never fails, the sun takes care of her and dries her beautiful blue eyes. I’ve heard the earth’s oceans are left over from tears as part of the earth let part of herself go to become closer to her sun, to become a moon just for him. Love I guess really does hurt when it’s done right.
Which brings me to my story. As I said before I always arrive early to the dirt path through the trees for my morning walk. It started out as a way to lose weight and now strangely enough I now do it to gain weight, the perception of weight of the earth, the perception of weight of the moon, the weight we need to learn in order to write our own tune. That’s right I’m a writer and the crisp of morning frees the fog of the prior day, along with my walking music I can separate myself from the fog of life while becoming stranded within myself without ego or without some factious clinging plight we seem to somehow immerse ourselves in. Don’t get me wrong, I know these burdens or side effects of humanity begin to attach themselves to us throughout the day like a second pair of underwear, they leave their stains on us, so clinging and seemingly so important to us in broad daylight. But when the scent of color rose rises up from behind a morning hill, I realize maybe we miss out on something much more important. Our life, the inner one that soars with the morning birds, the one that keeps beat to the pounding of our heart and feet as we walk the dirt path. And that’s why I prefer the dirt path to the road or asphalt. No one is resurrected from the asphalt, I’m grounded here touching the skin of our earth. This morning walk has taught me to shed off those daily side effects just by picturing the earth as she gets dressed each morning in blues and greens and earth tones. Beautiful I tell her, you look astonishing. Clean and bright and beautiful.
I heard the growling of something behind me. I knew without looking behind me what it was. It was those scavengers. The dirt of the desert the coyotes. I was almost in a state of Zen until these dirty dogs ruined everything. One of them all alone won’t dare confront you. There chicken shits, but just like an east L.A. Gang together they all become brave. My wife always warns me to take my phone in case anything happens. Somehow I mustard a laugh within myself, who would I call? I mean whose goanna get here in time to prevent my bones from becoming dog bones? Maybe I’ll just dial 1-Jesus saves and ask for a miracle. They’re beginning to get closer to me. I know there tactics, send the weak one in for a little bite and see what happens. I’ve given great thought to this situation because when you live in the desert and go out alone for a walk, this is something that is viable, something that has happen before and again to people. Some people carry sticks, some I suppose even carry a gun, but I believe they have as much right out here as I do, except I don’t want to eat them. The secret to the lone human is how you handle it. You have to remember this is not personal, it’s not like they were sitting on the other side of the trees and said, look at that guy! The smug way he walks out here like he owns the place. Come on guys, let’s go kick his ass. Although they want to kick my ass it’s because I look like a thin slab of prime rib, Mmmm, mmm.
I knew my nirvana was dissipating like the cool morning air and one of those skinny little bastards “No really most all them are Bastards” was getting up his nerve. The coward broke to the front of the pack to try and cause a knee jerk reaction from me, such as taking off running or maybe to see if I had a shiny silver pearl handle revolver that maybe wasn’t licensed, who know what really goes through their mind. My mind was thinking could they sense I was in a relationship with the sun and moon, I’m here on the dirt path to serenity and these little mutt’s were not doing their part to help me enjoy nature. I knew what I had to do but just didn’t want to do it. But it was becoming apparent that they weren’t just going to leave me alone, nope. Just like every morning for the past year they tracked me down expecting the same thing. I decided to make my move. I stopped and turned quickly facing them, they froze in their tracks and even rebounded back on their coil spring like legs. I could see saliva hanging from their furry lips covering their fangs. It was easy to see just how impatient they had become with the hunt. It had become time, I hated to do it but knew it was the only way out of the situation.
I slowly let my hand slip into my sweats, into the very bottom of my pocket. Their eyes and head mimicked the movement of my hand. We have had this dance before. They knew what was coming as well as I did. I slowly removed my hand from my pocket holding a half dozen big long fat pieces of jerky in my hand. Waving it to the left and right I simultaneously ask them if they were here to harm me. Each and every one of them shook their heads No! I then began moving my hand up and down and I could see even more saliva gathering on their lips as they began to smack a bit. I asked them if they loved me and was here to just enjoy my morning walk with me, yes they replied with a nod, we’d love to walk with you very much, of course maybe it was the movement of the jerky in my hand, but I prefer to think it’s my outgoing personality and love for nature. Just because I’ve been feeding jerky to them every morning for a year doesn’t mean it’s not me they love. Living with nature is easier than most of us realize. I was enjoying the morning sun, the coyotes enjoying the morning moon, the jerky was the love, and each of our kindness was the tune. I actually watched their heads keep time to a zeppelin song playing in my ears.
My wife was watching all this through the kitchen window, she gave me that wife look while shaking her head back and forth and lips turned ever so slightly puckered as to say oh brother! But soon I would be in the room getting a good morning coffee kiss from those lips, then off to work I’ll go. But this morning before the heat rises, it’s just me, Zeppelin, and the coyote band members. A whole lotta love indeed.
