Desperation, depression and everything else

I want to scream to the heavens but I know you aren't there I want to beg you to help me but I know you don't care I want to feel comforted and oblivious to that in the eyes I stare But it all won't bring me anywhere Why do you hate me so Why within you I can't grow Why so much anquish on me you bestow Why oh why do I into a pit I go, never to face my dreamed of new tomorrow My life is in death My sorrow has no end For me backwards you won't even bend Help and servitude you don't even send All you do is torment me never end Die die my darling to me you send Bringing me to my prayed for end My death will be my begining In victory I will be singing Do you even know I exist I want for you to acknowledge that I even exist But your torment does persist Your torment never ending does exist I need you so Please never ever let me go Please hold me close Please, please let me in your embrace enclose I am scared I am terrified I am on my knees Begging you please Forever me from this torment release God, you are my God I don't believe or accept that you are a fraud Be my hiding place Be my guide, my grace I need your caring I am not good at being scaring I need your grace Not feel like my face is always sprayed with mace You are my everything To you I want to sing My life is in your ring Of mercy, caring and all to me you bring Strike me down If on your face it will release your frown And bring me knees If that is what it takes for you to be pleased I can't like this carry on For at this pace I will not last very long Hold me right Teach me right You are the winner and I give up this fight