Awake at three in the morning
My dreaming turned sour
Kicked me out of bed it did
At this ungodly hour
Twisting turning wrenching gut
I was dreaming of a drink
I put it down the hatch I did
Didn't even stop to think
Forbidden fruit,
I dare not touch,
While I am awake,
And conscious of such,
But when I close my eyes,
And snuggle in, to catch a wink,
I find my alter ego waiting,
And the glasses go clink-clink,
I am drunk in my head,
I'm running the streets,
I am looking for trouble,
I'm not missing a beat,
The ghosts from my past,
Begin to pass me the bottle,
I taste all of the poisons,
That they have to offer,
Wine, whiskey and beer,
A splash of cocaine,
My heart gets to racing,
I can't get off this train!
I am panickly petrified,
I don't know what to do!
My fear is all consuming,
These things cannot be true,
I have to wake up!
So I turn and I run,
Away from the dark,
And into the sun!
I force my eyes open...
Thank God I'm in bed,
I can't get this sickness,
Out of my head,
I feel guilty for being,
What I obviously am,
An alcoholic and addict,
Ain't that a sham!
Afraid of my mind,
I have to get up,
Grab my smokes and my lighter,
And a full coffee cup,
I think I'll sit up a while,
And pray for a bit,
'Cause I'm tired of being tired,
Sick of being sick,
These demons inside me,
Well, they leave me no choice,
But to wield my best ammo,
My ink splattered voice,
I will write them away,
Take away all their power!
Have my own written proof,
That my brain took a shower,
I refuse to submit,
To my past or to booze,
This is my life,
It's MY right to choose,
And I, choose to live,
Nightmares and all,
Even while haunted,
By alcohol's call,
I make a light snack,
And I have me some water,
Because I deserve this much more,
And so does my daughter,
I thank God that I'm here,
And that I have a choice,
Inside my head,
My brain's not so moist,
I am NOT the same person,
I've changed all my ways,
I'm not drinking today,
No... not today of all days,
I think I'll go back to bed,
Maybe I'll count while I breathe,
I DO have a part,
In the life that I lead,
Mentally armed,
And being true to myself,
I drift off to sleep,
With serenity's help,
My prayers are soon answered,
When I don't dream at all,
Not awakened by poisons,
No nightmare withdrawal,
So... I think that I must,
Be doing something right,
And I'm glad God is awake,
In the middle of the night.
