It is our 10-year anniversary.
The kids are sound asleep.
She gently leads me by my hand to the bedroom.
In my mind ideas swirl.
What selfish carnal pleasures await me this night?
She sits me down on the chair, lowers to her knees
and begins to wash my feet.
Dear Lord, she is washing my feet?
What a beautiful picture of grace.
I struggle daily, and often fail, to keep my mind and spirit pure.
Yet she washes my feet.
I struggle daily, and often fail, to be a good example for my children.
Yet she washes my feet.
I struggle daily, and often fail, to be a steward of the provisions you have given me.
Yet she washes my feet.
In the last 10 years, she has sent me to war 3 times.
Each time knowing I may not return.
In the last 10 years, she has contained her emotions
While our children ask “What if the bad guys win?”
In the last 10 years, she has packed a house to move
While I am away in another country.
In the last 10 years, she has carried 4 of my children
Without me there to help her.
In the last 10 years, she has never complained
About wearing old, worn clothing.
In the last 10 years, she has never groaned
That we have an empty refrigerator.
In the last 10 years, she has never lamented
That she doesn’t live a more comfortable life.
In the last 10 years, she has never failed
To support my choice of profession.
How many times, O Lord
Have I told you I don’t deserve her?
How many times, O Lord
Have I told you she doesn’t deserve me?
How many times, O Lord
Have I told you she would be better off elsewhere?
Yet this righteous woman remains,
Kneeling before me,
Washing my feet.
Is this what grace is?
Will I ever comprehend the depth of this gift?
I cannot conceive such a wonderful gift, that I am so unworthy of.
This gift is bitter-sweet, as it brings with it great agony.
To be reminded daily how wicked and unworthy I am.
It is hard to decide which is greater, the rose or the thorn?
As I sit, looking down at this partner you have given me.
I know I will never be worthy of your love, or hers.
In all my labor, the best I can do
Is to offer my humble thanks.
