What is it like to not be judged in a world where being yourself is just not enough? What is it like to be yourself and get a hug without being judged and getting mugged by someone who barely even knows you but they’re scared of what they think they know but don’t know anything about so they lash out on you and lose control, funny right? But I guess that’s how life goes people get mad about things they can’t control. How does it feel to be loved by someone who sees all your imperfections as a high and can see themselves with you for the rest of your life?
These are a few of many questions I ask myself daily growing up infected as a young black lady.
So I want to know What makes my worth different from yours ? Who gives you the right to judge me with words ? Don’t I deserve love I mean after all we bleed the same color blood. I mean nobody’s perfect but we live in a world where society picks and chooses what’s deemed acceptable having people scared to open up and be accepted. Well I have a word for society: I deserve to be loved and treated like somebody. I will not devalue my self-worth to please anybody. I will stand strong and tall and love myself and all my beautiful flaws because when you love yourself you can conquer it all. I remember growing up and it was kinda rough hiding who you were and trying to stay tough. It would get very depressing up late nights crying and stressing. Sometimes words from mom weren’t enough crying in her arms and my eyes filled with hurt. I was in a bad place and my suicidal thoughts started to take place…I was lost confused trying to find myself and accept the truth.
I asked myself why? Why me? Out of all the people in the world why did God choose me ? A little girl who hasn’t experienced the world has to grow up in a world full of turmoil filled with hate and misunderstanding but she’s too young to understand what she was handed. So for the longest she walked around angry, mad at the world because of what her mother gave her. But as she grew and began to bloom she learned her self-worth and begin to brighten up rooms…Full of people she didn’t even know but that’s what happens when you experience growth …growth of the mind heart and soul and as she got older she started letting go…letting go of the past making everyday worth it and like its her last…letting go of the fears that kept her bound and going from lost to being found. Knowing that everything would be okay even if society threw her away. Accepting who she was and if nobody loved her love was enough. Understanding she wasn’t just average she was UNIQUE and only special people would be on her team. She began see she had a story to tell and people to reach.
Here’s a few words listen and see.
Don’t be quick to judge be easy and eager to love a few words a smile and a hug could change a life and save that struggling little boy or girl from this hateful judgeful world. Be open minded ask questions and learn to love more. Be that person who makes a difference in the world. I’ll put my life on front street for millions to see to show them I’m just like them and they’re just like me. Now it’s your time to break the stigma of HIV spread the word for everyone to see and know there’s millions of others just like me.