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Broken

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      Now all that was left was a broken plate. As I sat in bed, I recalled what had happened the night before. The look of hurt written all over her face when I yelled back at her for the first time. Why did I feel so bad inside just thinking about it all?

 

     I hurriedly got out of bed to get ready for work. Blast! There was so much work to catch up on at the office. I have had no time to even battle an eyelid over the contract Elena had told me to do. For sure, Mrs. A would be furious with me. What's new? Politics at work. Unrest at home. That's all one needs to get by these days. I drift into a state of nothingness. I was about to leave home when I realized Amelia was fast asleep in the living room, lying in her favourite rocking chair, still draped in her lacy lingerie. Somewhere deep inside, I wanted to go over and hug her but I held back. I glanced around quickly. This very living room had everything I loved. The cuckoo clock Dad inherited, the phone...I loved Amelia too. I do.

     "Mei, I will always be here for you," words that ring in my head like it was yesterday. The image of Amelia towering over me then, her sweet gentle smile, a different person. I remember her to be a kind and affectionate sibling. I wonder if it was because Sam had left us for America that did this. Her mood swings often took me by surprise. Did she take the pill? Which one did she miss? It was my fault. I wish I had been more present. After Mother had left us three, it was Amelia who looked after my every need. That I would never forget.

     I fumbled around for a pen and a notepad. I scribbled, "I am sorry" and left it on the dining table. The remains of the night of tension lay on the table. I most certainly did tell her I was not returning home for dinner. But why did she have to dig up the things of the past and accuse me of being uncaring towards her? I had lost my cool when she said that I was all grown up and thoughtless. I could not take all that self-pity for another day. Why did she have to call herself a useless school dropout anyway? I hated it when she became unreasonable. I swear I had no intention of breaking the plate. I happened so quickly. All that cross-fire left us both insane. I must have accidentally swung around and my sling bag hit the metal frame on the shelf. When the thing landed and crashed into pieces, we knew it was done. There was no point crying over spilt milk. The regret was mutual. None of us said a word after that.

    As I closed the front door to our three-room flat, I asked for forgiveness. I remember Sam saying to us how we were so alike; we were like durians, soft on the inside and hard on the outside. I miss Sam. I know he would have stopped us. I wish he had not left. There was no denying that Amelia had given up her whole life for Sam and I. I know I was not going to let her down. I made my way to work that morning with a heavy heart. I am the only one to pick up the pieces. It was time.

 

 

 

 

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