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Stockyards

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There is a mandatory stillness in the oppressive dusk.  The mockingbirds will not cease blame of the defenseless innocent they possess the void...standing atop their ashy mountains they sip the evaporating dew.  Their mania is exponential in the vast and empty landscape.  The faithful fall like flies and lose all reason.  Disciples are captivated by empty rhetoric.

On the fringe the stoic mute's bleached feet give them no response to their prayers.  They have been forsaken.  On the blank page of their hope they etch new writs.  They are disheartened in their vacuum of entropy.  When did potential energy decide to negate itself?  With a negative charge or ten that caused the incessant epidemic.

One month was one day lost in a blurred nightmare.  The logical priests run formulas without solutions.  The prophet's prophecies fail one after the other. The bleak world has joined nonexistent dimensions, the world on hundreds of bleeding stitches seems to stretch through a dog filled summer shackled to despair.  Yet a creeping mid afternoon shadow across the field suggests sunnier days in the dry dust of an early Indian summer in the union stockyards. 

The apache and their fraternal felines are not royalty but commoners.  They too are prone to mortality and twist of turn.  Analogous caliber is attainable and transcendence is not something of myth.  The chosen choose themselves and a cull still nests in plain view but out of reach to all!  The dash to that redemption will not be decided until all the pieces have been played.  We must learn to suffer better if we want the hapless to weary of punishing us.

Comments (13)

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Very well written, I would love to hear this read aloud. Thx

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A nocturnal agreement greets thee. This short has incredible depth that plunges down past hell, and then keeps going. Additionally it has a surrealism mated to it's reality that would makes any creature with feelings glee with joy that they were...

A nocturnal agreement greets thee. This short has incredible depth that plunges down past hell, and then keeps going. Additionally it has a surrealism mated to it's reality that would makes any creature with feelings glee with joy that they were NOT included in this poor species. Descriptive would be understated sir, what a job, I hope this comes natural to you because I love reading this type of work.

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Thank you for your kind words, guys. What do you think is weak about the piece?

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I will anwser this from the point of an adversary. Nothing to do with your form or function of this wonderful piece, "But" Cattle fed this country more than any other creature back in the 1920's. The lack of vegetarianism was as popular as moon...

I will anwser this from the point of an adversary. Nothing to do with your form or function of this wonderful piece, "But" Cattle fed this country more than any other creature back in the 1920's. The lack of vegetarianism was as popular as moon walks back then. The industry employed so many families through the depression into the 40's & 50's. In your piece there is only doom and gloom. A piece of this length had time to perform a portion of giving atleast a little spark in the beginning or the ending. I think this way when you turn off the lights it get really dark. Your work here is supurb "REALLY" maybe you could show a little of the glory days and then dive into the despair.Ishish, this is only meant to be constructive and it is "ONLY" my opinion.

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I appreciate the constructive criticism. Being out academia for ten years, I receive little to none. The only positive glimmers of hope in the piece are the sun on the field and the promise that if we suffer better we will no longer be...

I appreciate the constructive criticism. Being out academia for ten years, I receive little to none. The only positive glimmers of hope in the piece are the sun on the field and the promise that if we suffer better we will no longer be punished. I don't see any need to sugarcoat a hopeless situation. One must learn to deal with despair if they plan on surviving it and take pleasure in the simple and more physically consistent things in life, such as the shadow on field suggesting sunnier days. Once again thank you and I will respond to your works in a similar fashion.

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In retrospect I really like the allusion of having a light on to make it darker at the end. I will edit thusly and see how it is.

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One is always timid to answer the question is their a weakness-something you would change, what would you do differently, as I said I loved it and should of left it at that. These poems are tiny little children in our care and I know how...

One is always timid to answer the question is their a weakness-something you would change, what would you do differently, as I said I loved it and should of left it at that. These poems are tiny little children in our care and I know how protective we all can be. The work I submit for review I think is killer gets no comments, The one I effortlessly jot down is a big hit, so whose to say what is right or wrong on effort.

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No I really do take the constructive criticism seriously and I thank you for it. I am in no way overprotective of this.

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Weak? I don't think that any of this piece could be described as "weak". I liked the fact that you made me look up a few words My only suggestion would be to capitalize Union and Apache other than that I think it is pretty well put together and...

Weak? I don't think that any of this piece could be described as "weak". I liked the fact that you made me look up a few words My only suggestion would be to capitalize Union and Apache other than that I think it is pretty well put together and I reiterate that I would like to hear this aloud Thx

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I will try to do audio. I'm not sure how.

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