I feel so alienated because I take interest in what my peers do not. I actually care about learning. I don't want to hear only facts and repeat only facts or speak only facts. They're redundant and useless. They go through one ear and out the other. I demand more. Much more than that. Much more than what I receive. I do not want to become another drone who abides by the rules merely for the sake of being obedient. I despise one track minds and hearts of stone. I am so disillusioned with them. All of them. Everyone seems so shallow and superficial. They converse not because they have something worthwhile to say, but because they feel it is necessary to say something; anything they can conceive of, with the least amount of effort possible. I do not want their baby souls. I loathe their unoriginality. They lack vitality. They have no inner core. They are utterly pathetic. A new breed of apathetic sheep that are raised to believe they are special. How egotistical we have become. We lie to ourselves and to the world without realizing our own faults. See this? See their blank stoic faces? They don't understand me when I speak. It's probably for the best that they don't. I must be mad living in this world where only I know. I wish I were born somewhere else. Perhaps in another era. I am an old soul. But that's wishful thinking. I may be mature to see what they do not, and feel what they cannot, but I am far from old. You can't imagine my pain, my longing, my isolation. I shouldn't bother opening my mouth in front of them. I see that what they pursue or perceive to be real and worthwhile.....is merely illusion. I should give up already. Too much thinking is not good. My brain might just explode any minute now. My thoughts are racing fast. I can't write all of them down anymore. I can't seem to hold onto them. But I can try. I can try.
For now I will try to go on.
"Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" - The Smiths
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