Well to get on with the story (I know, please!) yuck my parents. Gag me with three fingers on the back of your throat. Calm down were moving on. These wonderful experiences continued to follow my mates for several years, but not me. No, not me, I had this great idea; I would jump ahead of the new society being created by the brains, and fight for my country, come back with experience, experience I could use in this new Kingdom, knowing good and well the G.I. Bill was going to make college and everything else possible. Go to college; extend my universal knowledge of the America’s, and so on, you get the point. I began to ask myself what field of endeavor would best catapult me into nirvana. Then it hit me, something with computers, hell most of society wasn’t even sure if computers were a viable presents in society in 67’.
I looked at what was available at the recruiter’s office and it jumped right off the page at me, here was my answer, Pershing “blow me up” Missiles. 100 foot long hot dog, computer guided missile, with a Y-4 warhead, (that’s four times your standard nuclear weapon) in one big flat green package. This inter-ballistic darling could travel so fast even the Honest John Interceptor Missiles couldn’t catch her sleek ass, and it could literally split a one inch wide wooden stake, from a classified distance “1,000 miles”, and then melt you ideals down with just a hot wink. I never did get an answer as to why it had to be so accurate, I mean it’s going to clear a 100 mile radius just in the blast zone alone; accurate Y-4? It gets its accuracy from the G&C or guidance and control section located right behind the warhead. Behind the G&C sets two extremely powerful missile stages with the cutest little killer wings. It’s propelled into space utilizing these solid propellant booster stages. Then it comes out of cold space with a vicious cold death stare, and a sizzling hot attitude. It analyzes wind direction, velocity, Earths rotational speed etc., and she gets all creamy and hot, and puts an end to all discussions and disapproval in one sick second. This is one mean “momma can you touch me now” weapon.
I may be freaking you out just a bit, so I won’t explain the really unpleasantness that results when selecting air to ground option which has a really nasty venereal type outcome, without the sex. Today this missile is extremely antiquated, and that would be a good thing, except its replacement is far leaner, meaner, more efficient killing everything, non-humane machine. Now get this! I picked this warhead up in an ammo dump in row “J”. The interesting thing about this is Row “A” has the most powerful weapon, and Row “Z” the least powerful weapon. Makes you think doesn’t it?
I bet your wandering what’s in row “A”. Are you sure you want to know? If you really want to know I will tell you. Go ahead ask me. Okay, okay you win, I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone else. It’s a cobalt bomb that when exploded in Earths atmosphere, creates a chain reaction with the oxygen molecules by way of setting fire to them. It continues to burn until no more little biddy oxygen molecules are left, oh oh. Weird thing is it only takes launching a few of these devices to create the end of days, and only about 30 minutes. I just don’t know why we need so many of these dastardly devilish devices!
Anyway it was the winter of 1969 and we were going to simulate firing one of these birds to a Moscow target location. By simulate I mean it’s a real warhead, real red delta or black jack countdown. What makes is simulated is we get a call from the pentagon after reaching a T minus 5 minutes. Part of the firing system is a Power Station (big generator) and a Program Test Station (a really big computer). After running through all the data, and getting the firing point, we all run and hide in a firing bunker. The missile starts the T minus countdown. Once the count gets below T minus two (two minutes left) the computer goes into lockout mode and the firing switch is enabled. If the pentagon doesn’t call at this point the bird goes hot. Ready or not here I come smoky
It was an extremely cold day in the cold war, except both countries had fevers. On this day we did not know that the pentagon had given us real target numbers to Moscow and I imputed them just as the protocol required. T-minus 5 and no call came, I’m getting wickedly concern, and the count is usually terminated by this point. T-minus 4 now I for real wanted to pee my pants, but at 50 degrees below 0, that’s right yellow ice cubes. We broke protocol and called on the hotline to the pentagon, notified them that this is indeed a hot bird with a real Y-4 warhead attachment and co ordinance is true to Moscow. We were arriving near T minus two and requested termination. I couldn’t believe it, the person on the other end of the hotline notified me that he didn’t have the authority to cancel, and told me I should call check back in five minutes…Are you F------ nuts I yelled into the receiver, this bird is live, live, live. At this point the entire missile crew took off running back again for the bunker; they knew what was coming next. I asked the operations specialist if he could shut down the system somehow, and he actually ran to be with the crew …T minus two, shit, Think quickly, anything at all I could do, no, no, no, no. I set the G&C to smack Moscow in the face with lava breath and with that vicious death stare I told you about. T minus one and the power station picked up power for the firing, just before lift off it powers way up to get the voltage needed to ignite the solid propellant, then it gets very noisy, and very scary,… that was it, the tail plug, If I could hustle outside and pull the tail plug the power needed to fire the solid propellant wouldn’t exist. We can’t fire the missle without the tail plug in the missle from the power station, which means yes! I ran out the through the door and as I grabbed the tail plug my feet slipped out from under me and as I went down and the tail plug in my hands came with me. True story and Scary story. “All you hippies boycotting the war owe me big. The light on the firing switch turned from green back to red with twelve seconds remaining, or so the crew told me later. The pentagon called back two full minutes after the countdown got tail plug terminated and the pentagon cancelled the firing. The captain who ran with the crew came out of the bunker and later turned me in for breaking protocol. I was allowed to leave with full honors 30 days prior to my discharge date with a very private thank you from the battalion commander who later received a metal for his bravery “120 miles away”
Two months later I received a collect call from a section chief in our brigade. He informed me because of my action they now put a locking device on the tail plug and call it a failsafe tail lock. Great, next time some poor sap will have to gnaw the cable in half. The people of Moscow have no idea of these events ever occurring, and as far I can tell, other than you and my crew, no one else knows. I did receive my glorious G.I. school benefits, unemployment insurance and sixty dollars a month worth of food stamps, for saving the two hemispheres from becoming a barbeque tourist attraction. “Your so very welcome” This experience lead me into the hands of one “Santé- Rishnna, a metaphysical guru of enlightenment to which still today I owe him my life for awakening me to the real world around me. You’ve probably heard this before but it’s true, ninety nine percent of people go through life half asleep. Case in point, the news tells you what the government told them to tell you, which rich corporate world business tells the government, which the “BIG” six families that control the world hemispheres told corporate business to tell government, to tell the news to tell you, whew.
You are asleep from what is very similar to a misdirection play in football except that there are about one hundred play sequences or different hallways to keep you asleep. You would become totally bored long before you could dig up the real purpose for this deception. You would remain asleep unless you studied under a guru, who studied under a master guru, who studied under an enlightened one, who once taught one of the six family members, and utilized the enlightened one for soul comforting. The reason isn’t really as sinister as one might think if you are open minded to be awake, which tears at your heart more than you think
If I were to confide in you even one of these great small secrets it would haunt you because you HAVE been programmed from birth as many generations before you were. I told you about my harrowing experience with the one hundred foot long weenie, yet I’m not sure you readers are ready for one single rock solid truth. I will however tell you that our life is no more important than that of a moth caught in a forest fire. And until you truly were capable of the firm un-affectionate understanding of this statement of “fact” how could you be expected to understand why we have war, starvation in special parts of the world, corrupt government and businesses, mass destruction of “natural” disasters, etc. All you readers were kind enough to stay with me until now; so I will give you a tidbit of factual information that you might be able to sequester within yourselves. It’s going to be an analogy so pick threw the straw and it can awaken you in various other areas of life and if you truly wish to awaken, let me shake you.
Six families live in equipoise with your destiny located deep in their pockets. The purpose of these rare birds flying in formation has to do with the survival of the human species or in simpler terms, to provide a”natural selection plan” and worldly locations of execution of these plans. Why you may ask, huh. Well it turns out of all the species on the earth we are the only species that has been sadly mistaken by evolution to continue on its path even though evolution made its first and only mistake since this, the eight term revolution of us, this life form. Okay you didn’t quite get it did you? Us-Humans are on our eight try since life began on this planet one half billion years ago. Believe me when I tell you a lot can happen many times over in this special time. Each time we are deemed to go quietly into extinction, except like all things, a mistake “repeatedly” occurs that can only be corrected by evolution, except evolution can’t recognize its own mistake. Each time we become near extinct it is for the same reason ‘breeding” We can’t in layman terms keep it in our pants. We over populate the planet each time and evolution does the rest until we are no longer in evolutions sphere of creation. This is the last chance for us literally. The last evolution shift took the human race world wide down to ten thousand “on the planet” next time it will go to maybe one hundred. We cannot and will not rebound with one hundred people. Call it our killer instinct and greed, but one hundred mathematically cannot replenish our breed. If you were in charge of this operation of population control, how far would you go to save a species you are part of? Would you start wars, create hunger, create faster advancements of faster steel and glass automobile projectiles, or hope that a missile slipped off a launch pad and started a nuclear holocaust in the three most populated places on earth. Would you do this to save mankind? And if that failed would you upset markets and economies in those regions. Maybe stay at war forever to maintain some sort of sanity for the rest of the world. Would you tell mommy and daddy to use protection no matter what the consequences? Would you select places close to your own home oh say like Norway, Sweden, and Switzerland, and others not to be included in war or destruction or other dastardly deeds, so as to keep the least violent areas of the planet so as to spread that genetic trait worldwide.
Well, that’s probably a small enough straw to chew on as you stroll down life’s crowded slick highways. I would love it if you would also prepare yourself for a little quiz next time, say oh I don’t know, may be ask yourselves “what deal was made by outside humanoids in order to garner all this water we have in our oceans on this planet?
Haven’t you ever wondered why such a simple question has never been answered by the scientific brainiest? Until next time (if I’m still here after this pho-paw). Yours truly: The slippery tongue.