Frank Sanders is a nationwide syndicated columnist who dispenses his “hillbilly wisdom” to any who will listen. Frank works as a painter and sometimes graveyard landscaper in Beckley WV.
Dear FrankI’ve been with my boyfriend for two months now and things are going great except for one thing. Recently, I’ve noticed that if I leave something at his place then I never get it back. It started with simple things like clothes that I would leave over there. Now I’ve noticed larger items missing from my apartment, like a table lamp, mini TV, and wall pictures. The weirdest part is that if I ask him about my stuff, he gets offended and questions if I’m sure I even owned the objects in the first place. His behavior seems very awkward and makes me wonder whether I should break up with him over this or stick it out despite the fact that I think that he’s stealing my stuff.—Confused in Miami
Thank you for seeking my advice but I must say that I am left feeling confused by your question. If you’re sincerely concerned about whether or not your boyfriend is stealing from you, then maybe you should step back and think about how you really feel about this man.
First of all, I wonder why your first reaction was to accuse your boyfriend of stealing. It could have been someone else, like your roommate or that ex-boyfriend that still has your apartment key. I think you should rule out other possibilities before dumping your boyfriend.
To have a good relationship, you need to support him even if he is taking your things. And it doesn’t matter if he takes a thing or two of yours here or there. Do you know why? Because it just means that he likes your style and your taste. He probably thinks you’re real fancy.
I don’t know what it is about women, not knowing how or wanting to take a compliment these days.
Another thing that isn’t wrong with taking something nice from somebody is that it can be sold on Craigslist. Well hell, anything can be sold there. I sold a used dog bed once without even washing it and the guy who bought it didn’t care at all. (Just stay away from the personals section though, I can tell you that from my own experience.)
But chances are, if your boyfriend is strategically taking items, like a table lamp and wall pictures, he knows somebody who will buy it. Why, he could have been eyeing your stuff since you first met. You know how relationships can move fast. He was probably thinking that you’re “the one” and wanted to sell a little bit of your stuff on the side to save up for a wedding ring.
I mean, you said yourself that ya’ll been together two months. Everyone knows that the third month anniversary is an important one. I proposed to my fourth wife for ours and that marriage lasted the longest of them all. Besides, you know you will want something nice when that time comes, so don’t worry about a few missing things until then. But if you don’t get a wedding ring, go ahead and dump the thief and key his car.