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I sit and I wonder

How many more will leave me

How many more will decide

That I am not worth it

That I do not belong


I sit and I wonder

How many more can believe

That within me

Is something worth destroying

Something vile


I sit and I wonder

How many more will be persecuted

Until we understand

That we may not deviate

Or we will be removed


I sit and I wonder

What it is

That my world is coming to


Split and shattered

Stained glass; broken wonder


Why were we created

In order to be destroyed?


I sit and I wonder

What their purpose is

To remove me ?

To make me fight for a freedom that I may never have?


To give me hope

So that when they take it away

It’s just that much worse ?


I sit and I wonder

What it is that I am even fighting for

Who I am doesn’t stand a chance


What is there to dream when it all has been taken away?


Why, when within our freedom

There is oppression


Why when, within our acceptance

There is discrimination


I sit and I wonder

What there is

To even be scared over

When the point of their choice

Was to incite fear


Or genocide in the form of suicide


Am I just giving in?


I sit and I am pissed

There’s no fucking point in sitting


Minorities are falling in the masses

Falling faster than the twin towers


Guns

In order to remove themselves from further fascism

Disguised as freedom.

To run from their führer


Or removal to no fault of their own

Removal for deviation


Running from

The pain

The inevitable torture

What is faced on the streets


Sodomy

Assault

Rape


To remove themselves

From what is predictably

Getting worse

Due to attempts

To spread awareness


Attempts

To institute a change

Or for the bigoted fear of what they were born as.


Why are innocent colored persons targeted on the streets?

Why are those who speak out for them mocked?


Why is the LGBTQ+ community forced into corrals

In order to be subordinated and objectified


Is it because the faggots

The trannies

And the rest of them

Are all but public property?


I sit and I panic

Why is it that

Half of the people that gave me freedom

Are the ones taking it away again?

Have they not done so far too may times?


Is that their point?

To give me hope

So that when they take it away

It's just that much worse?


I say that I do not allow people to touch my neck

Because it is an erotic area

Though

The last time it was touched

I was unable to breathe


Of course

Not because they hurt me

There was no force closed

Finger induced blockage

But the threat that comes along with it

Is a fear I will never forget.


Of course

When they come near enough

It will never be touched

I will never be touched

Because someone of my ethnicity

And my gender

Is now

And previously has been

Disposable.


While they are sacrament.


I am

And always will be

The nothingness they fear

For what I value

They destroy;

I cannot institute a change

I am stagnant


I find it funny that

Within a decade

The people are choosing the same fate

Of their ancestors.

Fascism

Bigotry


I speak out

I demand a change

I'm fifteen; not fifty

Therefore my opinion is disposable

As am I


I know not what I speak


I'll understand that it's for the greater good as I age

When, in all reality

It's for the whiter good

The straighter good

The majority that is becoming the minority good.


Women are equal

But laws on their bodies

Are conversed on

And instituted

By men.


Women are equal

The wage gap is a myth

But for a myth

There is an appalling number of businesses accused and

Shut down annually

For their misogyny


Or they are too important a business to be prosecuted

Unlike their female counterparts.


Eye candy is replaceable


I sit and I wonder

What the point of islamophobia is?

Is it fear?

Ignorance?

Or is it just to embarrass those who follow that religion ?


Why

Why cause an entire faith to fear

Why cause an entire faith to not want to walk the streets

To go to school

Work

Anywhere

Due to fear of being beaten

Raped

Killed


Why cause an entire faith to fear their houses being pillaged

Ransacked.


Why cause an entire population to fear

Haven’t we done that enough?

The Japanese

The Irish

The African

The Indian

The Hispanic

The German


Do we really have to incorporate islamics?


I sit and I wonder

What the point is in wondering

What the point is in acting

When the only place that seems to be taking me

Is into a spiralling depression

One I am unable to remove myself from

As everything is meaningless

If I cannot institute a change.


But what is the point in trying

When fascism has become patriotic?


You may see

My lack of effort

My lack of decision

And mistake me for them

And rightfully so


Ignorance

Apathy

Are worse than them

At least they stand for what they believe.


I sit and I wonder

Maybe it won't be so bad

Being second class.

Comments (1)

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Thank you for this wonderful poem! It is refreshing and so enlightening to hear the thoughts and musings of our poet community in regards to recent social events in the US. While the TVs blare with pundits intent on incitement, your poem is a...

Thank you for this wonderful poem! It is refreshing and so enlightening to hear the thoughts and musings of our poet community in regards to recent social events in the US. While the TVs blare with pundits intent on incitement, your poem is a breath of fresh air. Thank you for bringing your unique and valued insights to our community and the national discussion!

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Joshua Hennen
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