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Under My Skin

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Melissa,
My catalyst.
My lack of strength,
I deem you Melissa –
For the one who brought me to this party, 
Then disappeared
And left me here alone.

How did I let you become so important
To allow myself to choose this,
To turn to something I'd never –
Something I'd always viewed with disgust? 

And even still,
It's disgusting  
And dirty
And beneath me. 
And now I am what I disgust.

I let it seep in,
And now it's in my skin,
Under my skin
It got in.
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