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Failure

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Why can't I ever look good in your eyes.
Images and memories just flashing by. 
I put in so much effort 
But to you it doesn't matter because its not perfect. 
Alone you treat me like dirt but in public you bury all the hurt. 
You show people you with your mask on 
Afraid to reveal what's really going on. 
Would people still like you if they knew what you did and the things that u said 
What if they knew of all your lies and to who that you mislead 
Why do you attack me instead. 
Why can't we move forward and look ahead. 
Why do you pick on me 
I try so hard; can't you see. My goal is to please but instead you stab at me until I bleed. 
You cover it up with fake lines but who I am to talk when I lie and say I'm fine. 
It's a vicious cycle of sweet words and fake smiles.
We live in this crazy world of fabrications; 
all the assumptions you throw at me have no justification. 
Who are you to mock my creation 
To put me threw things worse than damnation. 
Why keep me? Is it pity, charity or a filthy donation? 
My self esteem and ego you press into deflation 
Leaving me lost with no map not knowing my location. 
Where will I go when I am only surrounded with frustration 
with temptation without motivation not a sense of order or formation. 
Sadness and disparity are my only sensation. 
Yet you choose to have me. 
But my question is what in me if not perfection do you see?
What if they knew of all your rules and strict standards.
That you act like a dictator, chief, or army commander. Do you think then that they would still be flattered. 
Your credibility now would not matter.
That perfect image you wanted now shattered. 
But your secret I swear to keep it
To this I commit and 
To you I submit 
Because It's because of you I learned how easy lies are to spit.
Tagged under: struggle, selfreflection,

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