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Struggle

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Life is hard
It gets really hard sometimes
From small things,
Small fears, small worries, small problems
Day by day it gets piled up
Thought I’ve able to take a control of it
Thought I’m already okay
Without realizing that those piles are actually still there
Until one single thing added up to those pile
Causing all of them to break apart
That’s when I realize
I’ve never been okay
Those small things are piling up
To the point where I can’t bear anymore
Where I fall to my knees
And my tears break
I feel like I barely hold on
I wish I could just let go everything
I wish I could end all of these
Is dying the answer?
To end all the pain I hold in this world
The pain of incapable of doing anything
The pain of keep wishing life will get better but never knowing when
The pain of trying to live with this pain
 
Sadly, die is not the answer
Cause I know if I give up my life
I would be rejected by Him
He who sacrifices His own life to give me this life
He who actually got a great plan for me
He’ll said that I’m just too impatient
I’m just too stupid to bear everything on my own
When I am such a weakling
But it’s just so hard to have faith
To believe there’s a bright future ahead
When everything I saw is problems
When my confidence is crumbling apart
When I start to doubt everything I once believed
It’s hard
But I need to go through it
I need to go back up and try one more time
As long as this breathe is still in me
I can’t put His life He has given me to a waste
So let me try once again
Waking up for one more morning
Going through one more day
Perhaps it would be better
If I keep fighting
Perhaps the light would finally shine on me
Perhaps
That’s my hope
And with that hope, I begin a new day
Then a next day, again and again
Until my time runs out.
 

Comments (1)

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The struggles you describe are palpable and heavy seeming in a very direct way. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Hennen's Observer.

Joshua Hennen
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