"Emerging Writers, Serious Writers"

since 2009

Poetry, Prose & More. Join Us!

  • Category: Community Poetry
  • Hits: 931

Prostitute heart, Virgin body

Star InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar Inactive
 

I do not have a virgin heart..
It's been fucked with,
And torn apart..
My heart is a prostitute,
Getting payed with love-filled lies. 


My Virgin body isn't yet caught up.
I gave all that was inside of me,
Trying to protect what I was born with,
My cleanliness, my virginity,
My purity..
My virgin body is white, pure, clean.
But my heart is black, broken, dead..
Waiting to be revived.
So please, revive my heart..
But don't take my body..

Comments (4)

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Okay, I like this one more than the last. " You got talent kid" Your poems start out with suck unwavering strength and seam to lose just a little as you near the end. Maybe let the poem simmer for a day then attack the end with a great surprise...

Okay, I like this one more than the last. " You got talent kid" Your poems start out with suck unwavering strength and seam to lose just a little as you near the end. Maybe let the poem simmer for a day then attack the end with a great surprise or maybe a viciousness with attitude. Either way I'm a fan.

Read More
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

I agree with Vangoman. The way you flipped the typical comparison of the heart/body where most would say their body was the wrecked article. I would love to see this poem pared down to half the words and half the lines so that you say more by...

I agree with Vangoman. The way you flipped the typical comparison of the heart/body where most would say their body was the wrecked article. I would love to see this poem pared down to half the words and half the lines so that you say more by being more insinuating. That would allow the readers to make all manner of inferences. It would then be more personal for every reader. Also, take a look at our published poet Leslie Warren here: http://hennensobserver.com/Uniquely...Disfunctional/ Her work will help you polish your own.

Read More
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

And this is why I love the comments I disagree with both the guys... I like that the poem fizzled at the end and it showed to me the tiredness that must come from turning tricks lol. And I also liked all of the words except for one. The...

And this is why I love the comments I disagree with both the guys... I like that the poem fizzled at the end and it showed to me the tiredness that must come from turning tricks lol. And I also liked all of the words except for one. The explaining that you seem to do throughout you lines seems innocent and new to the world of expressing yourself. If I could change only one thing in this poem it would be the word "revive". Why would you want to revive the part of you that has been so abused? I think "restore" or "cleanse" or something alongs those lines would have made the poem just that more cleaner. Anywho Thank-you for sharing and welcome to Hennen's!!!

Read More
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

I'm thinking the intent in this poem was to say she's not a prostitute they just want to fuck with her mind, and that is what needs to be revived. I could be wrong but I think that she wished she could have her mind as pure as her body. Virgin...

I'm thinking the intent in this poem was to say she's not a prostitute they just want to fuck with her mind, and that is what needs to be revived. I could be wrong but I think that she wished she could have her mind as pure as her body. Virgin body, virgin mind, don't fuck with it.

Read More
There are no comments posted here yet

Leave your comments

  1. Posting comment as a guest.
Attachments (0 / 3)
Share Your Location