It's a deafening sound this silence,
Loud and proud and violent,
Plays with walls as it bounces around,
Wherever I hide I can be found.
I can close my eyes but not my ears,
I can pretend to be blind but not to hear,
I can wish it away but it is always there,
It takes what it wants and it senses my fear.
It knows my name this silence,
It weighs heavy on my consciences,
It gives me no peace as it taunts,
An all-seeing unseen ghost that haunts.
It whispers in a quiet and fragile way,
Doesn't have to be loud to say what it wants to say,
It plays with me just as it would a toy,
Just as I did with it when I was a boy.
Cause if you look into the mirror,
Who will be staring back?
And if you look into their eyes,
Will they be light or black?
It smothers me this silence,
Feeds of my insecure moments,
And it’s cold within this silence,
I feel it as my skin tightens,
For there has never been any warmth within,
The darkness beneath the casual grin,
And even if I fill this room with noise,
There will be an underlying feeling I can’t avoid.
Cause when you are lost in shadows,
How do you know they are all your own?
Will you recognize the stranger there with you?
Or will that stranger be considered a friend?
I still remember like it was yesterday, and no matter how hard I might try, I still cannot wish it away. It was no more than a game to us, a way to pass the time, something to entertain our simple little minds. It was hide and seek and it was not, played inside a house, that time had discarded and forgot, out on a deserted piece of waste ground, beyond the many who like to watch, as they judge and as they frown.
I still see the vision of your face, bathed in the orange glow, of the heat that kept us away. It was all just a careless mistake, exploring as we played, but little did we know how much it would take. And we could only watch as it took hold, as it won and we lost control, as our fun began to weaken and fold, and thinking only of ourselves, we gave in to our fear as we ran away, ignoring those cries for help.
Cause when you are sat in the shadow of a streetlight,
Who will be sat there with you?
And when you turn to them to look into their eyes,
Will they only reflect the truth?
I am lost to this silence,
And it offers a reassurance,
That what will come will be deserved,
For it is something I have earned,
Cause to see out the night is to live another day,
To be one step closer and one step further away,
I accept what I am and long for you to set me free,
I just need you to finally release me.
It cuts like a knife this silence,
It wants my life this silence,
It draws me in this silence,
It’s all I have this silence,
And I need to silence this silence.