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My little sisters – Ode to the World – Her world

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I’m calling out, I’m crying out

But no one is giving me solace

No one is giving me redemption

No one is giving me a second look

 

 

I don’t understand why

I don’t care why

All I want to do is cry

All I want is to ask why

 

I am in pain

I am calling, it is in vein

I am begging for help

But it all just remains the same

 

Why will no one help me?

I want consolation

I want acceptance

I want acknowledgement of my existence

 

It is just not happening

I try to touch them but they fade away

I try to call them but they look the other way

I try to force them to see, but they simply stare and turn the other way

 

Why oh why is it this way

Was I ever so bad to them that they would react this way?

Why are the “killing” me?

Then it dawns on me, it all becomes as clear as day

 

I don’t feel the heat of the day

I don’t feel the cold of the night

I don’t feel the embrace of the cool breeze

 

It is I that have passed away, never more to be the same

It then dawns on me ever so clearer

That is why they cannot come nearer

They are holding all my memories nearer

And this is why they are ever dearer

 

My coming closer and seeking Affection, consoling and care

Is making them ever more aware

Of their loss (I am gone), of their gain, the gain that no one wants…

Everlasting hurt and pain

 

I now know that I must abstain

From seeking them so that they can deal with the pain

But, as soon as I refrain, closer they heed me again

For now the pain is like steel in the vein

 

This game of tug of war we must not play

For never can I rest, never can you release the pain

Let me be, let me play

In the mercies of the almighty

 

I am guilty of this too

My little sister I am missing you

You were the dearest

In every way the purest

 

But I see you through the goggles of days past

I see you with idyllic view

You were my little sisters and yes I loved you

But this is me letting you go

So that in your brokenness you now too can be whole.

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