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Diathesis

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And that was the reason she didn’t give up

For he so long ago did

In the forest deep forest they found him

In the ferns where he’d fallen asleep

.

Who misled him into that forest

And what was it he went in to see?

He said ‘My love I am your river

But you, my love, you’re my sea’

.

She drove then up to that tavern

Where he often stopped for a drink

But the men said they had no idea

And themselves didn’t know what to think

.

Who convinced him to dare that forest

And rest amongst nettle and fern?

He said ‘Lads what I’m doing this evening

Shall not be of your concern’

.

She drove then up to that temple

Where each man’s a grain of sand

But the women said he never attended

And they also could not understand

.

Who demanded of him retributions

For what horrible family sin?

He said ‘Ladies believe it’s not question

Of morals but rather that of hygiene’

.

At last she drove up to that forest

Where they found him on that August morn

It was peaceful and poisonous silence

There was peace amongst nettle and fern

Comments (5)

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

This style is a little more "straight ahead" than what I find in your usual work. I wonder what your inspiration for it was. It's almost a ballad... which is a form that I think could be rediscovered by poets with plenty of room for innovation.

Joshua Hennen
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I like both styles, even if your just toying with this style I like how "smooth" your river flowed in this poem. You got talent lad! It would NOT surprise me if you can write almost any style. I would love to see a Haiku from you...now that would...

I like both styles, even if your just toying with this style I like how "smooth" your river flowed in this poem. You got talent lad! It would NOT surprise me if you can write almost any style. I would love to see a Haiku from you...now that would be interesting!

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Vangoman
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Thanks aplenty. Wondering through the forests up here i guess was the main inspiration.

quidquid
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I like this... it makes me think of forest maidens luring men into the depths of ancient forests, asleep forevermore. Mermaids of the redwoods... As for your style, you have a confidence in your words. Both straight forward like this and your...

I like this... it makes me think of forest maidens luring men into the depths of ancient forests, asleep forevermore. Mermaids of the redwoods... As for your style, you have a confidence in your words. Both straight forward like this and your more complex writing... you come across as knowing exactly WHAT you want to say. This style is easier for me to read and understand, but the other makes me want to poetry slam. I enjoy both very much Thx

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wickedwahine_69
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Thank You very much

quidquid
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