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Particles of Dust (1st Draft)

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Less than a particle of dust am I

Less than a grain of sand with its history

Yet I see the geese feeding on a dewy lawn

And on this flying lady, its here they belong

Less than a part of these geese am I

.

Here, chasing the amber light around

Flying threw dark matter we’ve found

Fire crawling threw the cracks of her skin

Spitting into the skies in awe we cry

What a spectacle in disguise as fire flies

.

For we dare not hear our fear

The truth of how we disappear

Fright oozing up from her thighs

Less than her fire, less than the flying am I

.

In the click of a new day

I’ve seen my best friend fly away

And following to fast his lovely dainty lass

But then I hear her, this world whispering

Less than any part of me am I

No one is really free

Were all dying!

Comments (4)

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This could be tightened up a lot. There are several spelling mistakes, and I'm wondering if they're mistakes, or deliberate? Other than wanting more concrete images and better editing, I love the idea behind this poem, and some of the images I...

This could be tightened up a lot. There are several spelling mistakes, and I'm wondering if they're mistakes, or deliberate? Other than wanting more concrete images and better editing, I love the idea behind this poem, and some of the images I really enjoy! "Spitting into sky" and "fire flies" strike me as really neat, especially "fire flies," because it could have a double meaning--the insect, or fire flying!

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Thanks for catching my Friday night party errors, a possible bottle and freinds talking as I typed may have contributed. I'll make sure the final release is flawless. Thanks again for your input.

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Well done Vango. Isn't it great to have a new member like Nyssa? thats the kind of feedback one needs.

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Always great to add to our bouquet of flowers, although no words were mis-spelled (according to spell check) "Sometimes relying to heavily on it" I love the way she caught the double entenre of fire flies. Perhaps submitting during a bikers party...

Always great to add to our bouquet of flowers, although no words were mis-spelled (according to spell check) "Sometimes relying to heavily on it" I love the way she caught the double entenre of fire flies. Perhaps submitting during a bikers party was not such a good idea in retrospect, however at the time it seemed sooo right, ha ha

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