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SHADE

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Shade

Came in late

On a light afternoon

Bending old friends strait

Crawling along under the tree of life

Shading most of those sunny faces I knew

Faces I trace on black blankets of a new starry night

I had such small ears as those with years tried to explain

Passing of years make colorful crayons disappear all the same

And who left here will see all those beautiful colors we used to be

No one! For the outline that once held our color in has now set us free

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Under the tree of life

Comments (7)

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Lovely work Vangoman!

Tsnclr
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Very Good, the shape though takes away some of its grandure

quidquid
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You're right!

Vangoman
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I have also toyed with lines that are so structured to convey visuals in my poetry. I'm always torn about it though. When is it so subtle that it is perceptible only to the subconscious and when does it distract? I don't have the answer to that....

I have also toyed with lines that are so structured to convey visuals in my poetry. I'm always torn about it though. When is it so subtle that it is perceptible only to the subconscious and when does it distract? I don't have the answer to that. At the very least, its an exercise worthy of pursuit.

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Joshua Hennen
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How wisdom does fall on you, I thought these very thougts and it came down to a coin flip of destiny, I think the wrong side of the coin won out, and quid quid is right. Such is life, Hey.

Vangoman
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i quite like this physical simile. its not as pretentious as i might have been if for example you had done a love poem in the shape of a heaart. that would be ridiculous but i dont think this is. i like
Soi-Disant, The Blue Roof

soi-disant
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It's fun to be creative... I liked the poem and think that playing with words is what keeps us interested in them

wickedwahine_69
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