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You're So Beautiful When You're Sleeping

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Suddenly I can't breathe.
Darkness.
What time is it?
4:12 am.
I have plenty of time.

I roll over.
There is a pain in my stomach
A stab in the heart.
God. 
You're beautiful when you're sleeping.

I wrap my arms around you.
I hope you can somehow  
Feel my presence.
My gut twists into knots.

Practice.
It's just practice.
In 19 days we will know.
We'll know where we stand,
If this is real or not.

It hurts to think about.
My throat swells.
Soon, 
I won't be able to stop the tears.

Have I mentioned you're beautiful?
You hold me tighter;
Do you know I'm here?
I relax because
You want me too.

What time is it now?
4:37 am.
Okay 8 more minutes,
Maybe 10,
Then I will get up.

UP.

I come back and you're still the same.
So I lay back down.
I couldn't imagine,
Not even for a moment,
Waking up to anyone else.

I can't count the number of times,
I kissed you while you were sleeping.
While I held your face,
Wishing I didn't have to go.

You wrap your arms around me.
I know that you're awake now.
I wish that you knew,
You were making this so much harder.
I just want to be where ever you are.

Time to go.
4:55 am.
Ugh.
That was not 45 minutes.
I sit up.
You pull me back down.

Don't reach out for me,
God, it's killing me too.
Your kiss is everything I've ever needed.
I'll leave my heart with you and
Be back soon I promise. 
How could I not;
You're so beautiful while you're sleeping. 
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