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Myself, Removed.

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I like the stillness

The unmoving quiet that settles the dust   

I like the unspeaking the unfeeling

The unbreathing of this coffin-bed

I like the lack of worry

The lack of responsibility, the lack of life.

And so it seems, in the dark we hide our true selves,

Mine fat with the greed of self-revision.  

I like the hazy hues of black-blue,

The darkness, the inevitable self-awareness.

I am unable to stitch myself in it’s pieces back together,

I have given into this world and it's need for flesh.

But I like the way I settle in this sleep,

A slumber the weight of ten ton bricks. 

As I quietly remove myself from this life to the next.

Comments (6)

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Somehow you brought a beauty into this darkened procedural procession. The second line and last line were executed "pardon the pun" with a pure and deadly smooth craftmanship. I adore this poem and had to read it several times to get the full...

Somehow you brought a beauty into this darkened procedural procession. The second line and last line were executed "pardon the pun" with a pure and deadly smooth craftmanship. I adore this poem and had to read it several times to get the full taste of it's burial wine flavor in my mouth. Thank you for sharing your inners.

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Vangoman
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I really like this poem. Each line is rich with stark symbols and metaphors. I feel that the line "And so it seems, in the dark we hide our true selves," was too straightforward and explanatory though. I wonder if it could be drenched in some of...

I really like this poem. Each line is rich with stark symbols and metaphors. I feel that the line "And so it seems, in the dark we hide our true selves," was too straightforward and explanatory though. I wonder if it could be drenched in some of the same exquisite and original pictures as are in the rest of your piece. But either way, it was fantastic!

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Joshua Hennen
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I actually find the line "And so it seems, in the dark we hide our true selves," very appropriate as it punctures the rest of the metaphorically image driven lines with a simple, insightful break. It's almost like a hint, a wink if you will,...

I actually find the line "And so it seems, in the dark we hide our true selves," very appropriate as it punctures the rest of the metaphorically image driven lines with a simple, insightful break. It's almost like a hint, a wink if you will, letting the reader into this realm if only for a brief second, and then delving back into a tapestry of symbolism. I would do away with line nine if I were revising. Well done.

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Brandon_Hennen
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I disagree with the last comment.

Joshua Hennen
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I disagree with his disagreement.

Brandon_Hennen
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umm. I believe I will leave this poem alone. Because to change any of it will cause conflict... But thanks for the comments!

Uniquely...Disfunctional
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