"Emerging Writers, Serious Writers"

since 2009

Poetry, Prose & More. Join Us!

Stare Down.

Star InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar Inactive
 

She wore her age like a burden.
Sagging shoulders and tired hands.
Lines etched the decades in a face that was once smooth and tan.
Eyes hollow she stands lethargic as her life slowly fades by.

Looking at her I knew this is where my destiny lies.
A world with no color void of all love and sound.
Soon I will be faced with the knowledge of all things
I have pushed has permanently fallen down.

All the tears that I hide will leak through hollow eyes
All the screams locked inside, will suffocate my soul dry.
Haunted I will be during my sleepless nights.

I stared at her forgotten life
She watched as I wasted mine.
Knowing inside, I can stop it.
Stopping herself from preaching it.

The ultimate stare down began
me, daring her to save me.
Her, praying I would understand. 

I watched her walk away
The weight of the world bearing down on her shoulders.
a lonely tear traced my face now smooth
but all too soon will be etched with the all-telling lines.


 

Comments (4)

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

"Soon I will be faced with the knowledge of all things!!" Oh, NickelDown, that one line PRICELESS!! Slow deliberate hand clapping at this end. Bravo! The next line though,
"I have pushed has permanently fallen down." i think the line is beyond...

"Soon I will be faced with the knowledge of all things!!" Oh, NickelDown, that one line PRICELESS!! Slow deliberate hand clapping at this end. Bravo! The next line though,
"I have pushed has permanently fallen down." i think the line is beyond me, can you explain it?

Read More
a
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Thank you.
The lines go together actually "soon I will be faced with the knowledge of all the things I have pushed have permanently fallen down. "

I'm not the greatest with grammar, so anytime you want to edit or correct feel free.

But...

Thank you.
The lines go together actually "soon I will be faced with the knowledge of all the things I have pushed have permanently fallen down. "

I'm not the greatest with grammar, so anytime you want to edit or correct feel free.

But thank you for reading.

Read More
NickelDown
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Oops.. I just reread the line and noticed it says "has" and not "have". I tend to just write and not go back, I spend too much time trying to reword every line.

NickelDown
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

I too would love to praise thee, each line I read of this poem becomes progressivly better until, I re-read it and relize each line is immaculate. Change nothing. The opening two verses are to die for. I vividly see her in my mind, wonderfully...

I too would love to praise thee, each line I read of this poem becomes progressivly better until, I re-read it and relize each line is immaculate. Change nothing. The opening two verses are to die for. I vividly see her in my mind, wonderfully old, and well cultured. Sorry for the late response.

Read More
Vangoman
There are no comments posted here yet

Leave your comments

  1. Posting comment as a guest.
Attachments (0 / 3)
Share Your Location