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For Ali

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It hurts sometimes to think of days we spent together
In our sunny World
And now I'm here in NYC I made it
You should be with me.

My memories
Like a far-off breeze
Go chasing on across the night
But I know I will be ok.
It was some other person's life.

It's like a fist has seized the space between
My larynx and my lungs
When I recall, from four years past
As clear as if it were today

The spark of something meant to be,
Of lovers deep, intense, extreme -
But it means nothing for you cannot miss
Somebody from a dream.

Comments (9)

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So you meant to tell me that the feeling doesn't go away, even after four years? Huh....

Joshua Hennen
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Precisely
TFairey

TFairey
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This poem doesn't really make sense. First it is about love, then it begins to feel like it's about love/hate, and finally into make-believe. Did the relationship end badly?
And if you loved that person, and wished you were still with them, then...

This poem doesn't really make sense. First it is about love, then it begins to feel like it's about love/hate, and finally into make-believe. Did the relationship end badly?
And if you loved that person, and wished you were still with them, then the memories would be like little flakes of gold.

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The_Unwanted
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Forgive me I didn't realise poems was so prescribed. I thought it was more about expression than 'making sense'. If you re-read it you will perhaps see that it is about someone who has loved and lost. When they think about the love they lost,...

Forgive me I didn't realise poems was so prescribed. I thought it was more about expression than 'making sense'. If you re-read it you will perhaps see that it is about someone who has loved and lost. When they think about the love they lost, it is painful to them. So to try and reduce the pain they convince themselves that it never happened, that it was a dream.
Don't tell people their poems don't make sense just because you don't understand what they are trying to say, it may be something that is very cathartic to them and someone dismissing it as 'not making sense' can be very hurtful.


TFairey

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TFairey
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Excuse me, but I was not (I repeat) was not trying offend. I was offering my own opinion. Is that not what this section is for?
Also I re-read it a number of times before commenting (I have to, as I know myself that I can mis-read so very easily...

Excuse me, but I was not (I repeat) was not trying offend. I was offering my own opinion. Is that not what this section is for?
Also I re-read it a number of times before commenting (I have to, as I know myself that I can mis-read so very easily (English has always been a struggle for me)), and what I said was just my thoughts at the time.
Like you, and most of the population of this planet, I to have loved and lost (more than once), and although the memories still pain me today and most other days, I would never pretend that moment of my life had never existed. For me (personally), it would be disrespecting that 'other' person's existence, and the time we had together.

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The_Unwanted
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I loved it... made me think of loves lost, futures planned, and lived out only in my head. Thanks I thoroughly enjoyed it

wickedwahine_69
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Well, I enjoyed the poem. We all have different ways of dealing with the emotions of life and I suppose they're all equally valid, so long as they're not destructive. But I think that the poet's lost lover is validated not only in the title, but...

Well, I enjoyed the poem. We all have different ways of dealing with the emotions of life and I suppose they're all equally valid, so long as they're not destructive. But I think that the poet's lost lover is validated not only in the title, but in that a poem was written about how she tries to convince herself that it didn't happen. While that may not be the approach that some would take in real life, I don't know that that matters because its from the point of view of the poet anyway. Besides, I don't necessarily assume that the poem is confessional in nature until I get validation from the poet.

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Joshua Hennen
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Can't we all just get along? As poets and writers, we need to come to terms with criticism. It's always going to be there. Whether you find success or not. I mean you should see the things they wrote about Mark Twain, or Edgar Allen,or any...

Can't we all just get along? As poets and writers, we need to come to terms with criticism. It's always going to be there. Whether you find success or not. I mean you should see the things they wrote about Mark Twain, or Edgar Allen,or any famed writer for that matter! THERE IS ALWAYS, ALWAYS GOING TO BE SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LIKE IT! I personally find this poem a fine example of the emotional confusion that Love can render.

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a
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Alberto Arza you're absolutely right, criticism about the actual writing is always fine because obviously nobody's perfect and getting critiqued is how we improve. I just prefer it to be kept about the writing itself, not about the...

Alberto Arza you're absolutely right, criticism about the actual writing is always fine because obviously nobody's perfect and getting critiqued is how we improve. I just prefer it to be kept about the writing itself, not about the event/relationship/whatever that inspired the writing - sometimes the lines in between get blurred. Thanks to all who have commented on the poem itself. TFairey

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TFairey
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