It was like a shield I never knew I had
I wore it like a coat and with my age it seemed to match-
I never knew it would just go away-
I never knew it would shatter.
but many things I thought would stay the same-
I dunno I guess it doesnt matter.
It does me good, to live a week-
In joyous laughter with friends-
without the invasion of horrid dreams,
The nightmares of slumber, and red, and hands-
Sometimes screaming is all i have.
All these years have expired since then,
And still at night, I relive one day-
Why couldn't you just muster up the words to tell me it was alright?
And everything eventually would be just fine,
Instead of averting your eyes and turning your head.
I was six years old that day,
That day my jacket faded away,
And you couldnt just shield my eyes,
Against the full wrath of the grown up world,
With years of internal torture,
With years of proving to myself i'd never measure up,
with years of standing alone in a crowd of people,
With years of straining to understand
with years of hating myself, and hating my life,
I finally learned it would be alright.
But why did it take me fourteen years to find out
something you could have taken 2 second to explain to me?