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Moon Child

User Rating: 5 / 5

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I've been one to run with the moon
so the world can't see the undoing
that has
become me.

Barbed edges frayed linings;
coupled with lipstick traces
spent gazes
is what comprises my countenance
these days.

I stumble by
while the world sleeps
remembering home
but all I long for
is already gone.

What I've come to learn is
looking back is a sign of weakness,
or so it is seen.
Yet with the volume
of a midnight prayer
or a smoke whisper,
everyone looks behind
with hindsight's fondness.
The trick's in not letting others see.

Comments (4)

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Wow. I really like this, it speaks to me. I can relate to it and that is what makes it great.
l

Uniquely...Disfunctional
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Thank you so much for the kind words. I'll take that as a warm welcome here!

Chris Edwards
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This an intense piece with sadness permeating throughout. I think your line "looking back's a sign of weakness" is powerful but I struggled with the contraction "back's," feeling that "back is" would have made the line stronger. (The contraction...

This an intense piece with sadness permeating throughout. I think your line "looking back's a sign of weakness" is powerful but I struggled with the contraction "back's," feeling that "back is" would have made the line stronger. (The contraction would work great if the piece were sung though) I hope you take the critique with the respect and caring it was written with. I look forward to seeing more of your work.

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a
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Ahh Chris, I dig the whole 2nd set. Barbed edges-Frayed lining-spent traces, Great job sir. I'm guessing from your Bio that your very near my old stomping grounds of Lonview-Kilgore or one the the other original lone star beer bars? Anyway love...

Ahh Chris, I dig the whole 2nd set. Barbed edges-Frayed lining-spent traces, Great job sir. I'm guessing from your Bio that your very near my old stomping grounds of Lonview-Kilgore or one the the other original lone star beer bars? Anyway love this and Hank and Dylan. Welcome aboard matey

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Vangoman
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