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Shall it not be another being that strikes the life in thee?

Shall it not be the urge and compelling need to be loved that keeps one's blood ravenous?

Whether it be be compassion from a lover
Adoring and loving eyes of offspring
Intent stares of younger beings
>
We shall all remain uncontrolled of thy emotions described.

Comments (5)

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

I like where it's going. I feel like it needs a couple more lines. Don't shoot me! I really like it.

Eric Lawson
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Haha, I appreciate the comment, I too was pondering on adding a few more verses to this, just haven't come up with the right connection yet! Thanks for the comment!

Shell1321
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Other side of the coin thought. if you lengthen might you dilute its intensity? Less is more... yada yada yada

a
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Yes, you may be right, if it drags on the interest to be sought might be lost. Short and sweet may be the way to go. Although there may be room for a 2nd addition to it, almost like a chapter poetry. ??? Suggestions?

Shell1321
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

That might actually be an creative new idea for the observer! Write a few lines, and other authors add to it, as a community see what you come up with! Would be interesting to see what all this talent as one would be like. Overwhelming I'm sure.

Shell1321
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