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Spring Morning

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A soft mellow star ascends the horizon
            a sphere of flaming serenity; the grace of morning reflected
in the face of a lily’s femininity.

The Milky Way deluges the sky above
            a nocturnal river evanescent; draining into
a crystalline eternal blue sea beneath a fading silver crescent.

In the soul of a forest a silent song echoes
            dancing on the wings of a butterfly; stirring an aura
in the depths of a child’s vigilant, unblinking eye.

Secret chambers of liquid vigor – to a hummingbird
            familiar wells of life – lay hidden within
nature’s botanical gems, alleviating fatigue and strife.
 
Diminutive aquae cascade from the sky
            a light shower descends to Earth; by rain the air
is pure anew and life is endowed rebirth.

So commences a new circumference of the circle
            continuing ever more preciously to shine; perhaps the very
essences of life… reciprocally beheld in a morning of springtime.


04-24-A.D. 2002
Last revised 11-17-A.D. 2005

Comments (5)

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Beautiful!

Eric Lawson
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Yes, very lovely, but....

The topic is beauty, specifically the beauty of nature as made manifest in the continuity and associative-ness of all things and in particular, nature's graceful and effortless fluidity.

So, the verse and its subject...

Yes, very lovely, but....

The topic is beauty, specifically the beauty of nature as made manifest in the continuity and associative-ness of all things and in particular, nature's graceful and effortless fluidity.

So, the verse and its subject are most persuasive when the fluidity of the phrasing, the associations that the words evoke, and the imagery they conjure are all perfectly in sync. In this, the second and third stanzas are so very finely wrought, especially the third. It's like auditory satin.

Elsewhere though, some of the words seem to work against your purposes. "Femininity" and "reciprocally" both possess the meanings you're after, but they are so hard to form in the mouth when the verse is spoken aloud (which I did several time before writing this). They break the spell the verse is otherwise so careful to always preserve. I'm not entirely sure about this, of course. It's just how it struck me, but I did enjoy the work greatly, nevertheless. Thanks.

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ugwerks
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You know, I thought along those same lines too, which is why this piece was one of my most revised over the years. I get where you're coming from. I've always held the opinion that some poetry is much better read to oneself than spoken aloud......

You know, I thought along those same lines too, which is why this piece was one of my most revised over the years. I get where you're coming from. I've always held the opinion that some poetry is much better read to oneself than spoken aloud... and this would be one. It flows a lot more smoothly in the mind than off of the tongue. -Soulja4Alethia

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Soulja4Alethia
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Agreed. It works very well when read with only the mind. As you say, that is likely the way some verse needs to remain. Thanks.

ugwerks
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Yep, and thanks for the feedback! -Soulja4Alethia

Soulja4Alethia
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