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In the Aftermath of [You], What is Infinity?

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I hope my heart just died…

So that heaven’s now somewhere on this side

Of the eternity I thought was you and me

But I doubt it

Why?

Because love indeed kills slowly, like your MySpace so rightly puts it

And everything we’ve been through, silently, dully, but unmistakably,

shouts it

I think its still dying…


I hope my heart just died…

And took with it the vicious pride

Or is it the pervasive shame? (I think the two may be the same)

That held me back from you


I hope my heart just died…

Killing the hundred unspoken lies

Harbored inside

and guised

So well they fooled both of us

And clouded the truth


I hope my heart just breathed its last

Giving its last breath to yours

A tiny reparation

For hurts of the past

The death by a thousand cuts it almost cast


…So this is desperation…


I hope no one else comes to try and save it

If it’s not you I’d rather it die

Alone and shattered, and waiting

For you

Only for you

[This is your name]

Beautiful


I know my heart hasn’t died

Because although I’ve cried

So often and hard my tears have now run dry

Inside, they’re steady flowing all the time

For you


I know my heart hasn’t died

Because I fight the numbness in which I once thrived

I don’t want it back, though hard it tries

Because looking into your eyes

I remember

Made me know how it feels to be truly alive


I know my heart hasn’t died

Because in my mind I am yours

And you’re still mine

Though in this moment I thought we needed time

I know my heart hasn’t died

Because she set it on fire with her words

So this is jealousy...

...never felt this way before

I could rip her throat out with heated hands

With fingers like adrenaline-loaded claws

But that's not the way to go

Lord, please forgive me and ease my angry soul

And although He did, the sick feeling remains

…So this is pain…


Are you really hers?

(How could you?)...

NO!… no…

Please don’t let it be that be true…

That's just not you

...is it? Now?


I know my heart hasn’t died

Because it is still at your side

Whether or not you choose to hold it


Yes,

You still could be with twenty others, or hundreds, or thousands

Breaking me even further each time

I would still want you back

First, last, only

The best thing to ever happen to me

Have I lost it, truly?

Please, no…


I’m glad my heart’s not dead

Because every word you said

Every embrace

Every kiss

Every tear you shed

Every effort you made

I keep there and replay inside my head

Understanding better

Loving deeper

Missing more bitterly

Hoping more frailly

Praying more steadfastly

Each and every time


I know my heart hasn’t died

Because I am still in love with you

AriluvzJu4eva

Yes, that’s still my password

"Forever…"

It keeps echoing

But what will forever bring,

If faith is the substance of things hoped for,

And the evidence of things not seen?

By faith in God and hope in us,

I pray someday we will be again


[You], I love you.


08-14-A.D.2009

Comments (3)

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

I must admit I have not felt this level of passion for some time. Age doth befall us all. Keep up the good work, keep writing!!

a
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

I agree! "Ease my angry soul"--nice! More please.

Eric Lawson
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Heart wrenching and thought provoking. I find it hard for anyone not to be reminiscent of a past love that was lost no matter how franticly we tried to cling to it. Loved it!

Brokenmuse
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