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This Soul

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This person that everyone thinks they know is slowly dying
  • Everyday I can't stop from crying
  • I cry even though not a tear is shown
  • This body of mine I have developed into stone
  • I keep all my emotions in because I have no way to let them out
  • I feel as though I could go crazy, all I need is one good shout
  • Countless nights I lay awake
  • I wish these thousand of thoughts someone could take
  • Depression I feel I fight everyday
  • It would be so easy to give in, but I'm still too strong, there's no way
  • This struggle no one has a clue
  • They assume what they see is true
  • This struggle is caused by each and everyone
  • I should to others, what to me they have done
  • However, instead I hope and pray for you
  • I hope the same some will do
  • I often think of others before me
  • My dream no one seems to understand, no one can truly see
  • Something for only me I have never done
  • I truly want this, nothing else, just this one
  • The only thing that keeps me going is this dream of mine
  • Soon this dream will be a reality it's only a matter of time
  • I hope sooner or later peoples selfish desires will fade away
  • And one night in peace I will finally lay
  • Comments (2)

    This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

    There's nothing like a tortured soul piece. But speaking as a fellow tortured soul poet, I found it much more soulful and visceral if you use metaphor to describe the emotional state. This way, instead of reciting the same sentiments that...

    There's nothing like a tortured soul piece. But speaking as a fellow tortured soul poet, I found it much more soulful and visceral if you use metaphor to describe the emotional state. This way, instead of reciting the same sentiments that others can express themselves but only in rhyme form, you invoke a deeper meaning as you braid one or two metaphors in the poem along with strong emotional visuals and imagery. Otherwise, like I said, its just another Life-sucks-I-need-B-vitamins poem. You're an artist - draw your picture with words.

    But the poem rhymed nicely ;-)


    Lisa

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    WhisperSage
    This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

    Thank you for your suggestions and I'll seriously take them into consideration. I appreciate your comments, thanks!

    Amber1020
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