Saturday, 08 May 2010 15:16
Category: Community Poetry
Written by phil.marquez98
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Sounds of the Sky

User Rating: 5 / 5

Listen close for the answer lies

in the heart

and the mind

the pleas of the sun when it hides

out amongst the starry skies

horizons of clouds

a melancholy sight

Through this disguise

the truth you will find.

Then come back to me

and tell me no lies.

Comments (3)

emiller0813

about 10 years ago
#362

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Nice rhyming poem. Those aren't easy. I'd like to see more, they're my favorite. I think it would have ended smoother two lines earlier though.

emiller0813

phil.marquez98

about 10 years ago
#363

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Thanks again for the comment, I have a few more I'll put up. They're pretty rough though, definitely not final by any means.

Whats funny is I completely agree with you, but I'm too stubborn sometimes to cut. That's where I had it initially, but the idea started from the fear of enlightenment that caused it to have the end it has. Funny you said what I was leaning towards.

phil.marquez98

emiller0813

about 10 years ago
#364

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

I speak from experience as I've done the same thing before and am also too stubborn to cut until I have someone else take a look at it and say what I'm thinking of their own volition.

I look forward to more. You're clearly very talented.

emiller0813